We Are Not In Control

Have you ever sat in the passengers seat of a car and felt like you were in control.  I know I haven't.  In fact some of my most terrifying rides have been from the passengers seat.  Can you relate to just how helpless you feel as you hurtle down the road, trees and other cars a blur, wishing you could swap seats and take control of the situation, put the brakes on and come to a halt.  Bring things back to "your normal", safety and security that you desperately want.

  My wife Karen was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer in the throat 3 weeks ago and that is how I feel.  Our safe secure life that we have built up around us has been obliterated by one single word, CANCER.  I definitely feel like I am in the passengers seat.  Absolutely helpless to do anything.  In a world where we are constantly told by advertising and other that it's all about us, that we need to take control of our lives, that we have the power to change things, blah blah blah and all the other cliches about self this and self that, one word, cancer, certainly to me highlights that we are NOT in control.  Dont mis-interpret this for your outlook on the situation.  By all means be positive when you can, but that will not change the fact that you have cancer.  

When I became a Christian 9 years ago, Proverbs 3:5 quickly became a favourite and I still hold on to this daily.  Even more so now.  It reads,

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding: 6 In all your ways acknowledge him, And he will direct your path."

Its hard to do.  Basically give up thinking you are in control and trust God.  There are things happening all around that just don't make sense.  Don't try and understand them because we are not privy to Gods bigger picture for our lives.  We just have to acknowledge this and he already has our path laid out.  He has had this path laid out before we were even born.  That's all I can do, Trust in the Lord.  He is in the driver seat and we are all just passengers.  We may find the journey still terrifying at times, but the destination is definitely worth the ride.

To my non Christian friends who know me, my intension is not to preach to you, but more a case of just explaining to you where I am at and what I believe.  I don't often put my faith out there in your face verbally as that is not the way I am.  Having said that though, you have visited my blog so put up with it.  I will just say that the idea of this blog is really just a form of passing on information about what is happening about the caner with Karen, the treatment and how we are coping.  So please come back to see what the Zanker's are up to.